Silly Jokes

  • To be a manager

    An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee".The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up". He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee". The waiter says "Whoa, Tonto. We're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was that all about, anyway?"The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me in training for upper management. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the shit, and disappear for the rest of the day."

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    A farmer and Little boy

    A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?" "Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy. "Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."

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  • Mom... best analyst of her Son mind!

    A young man finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him. He tells his mother he wants her to meet his fiancé, but he wants to make a bit of a game out of it. He says he'll bring the girl over with two other women and see if his mother can guess which the one he wants to marry is. His mother agrees to the game. That night, he shows up at his mother's house with three beautiful young ladies. They all sit down on the couch, and everyone has a wonderful evening talking and getting to know each other. At the end of the evening, the young man asks his mother, 'OK, Mom, which one is the woman I want to marry?' Without any hesitation at all, his mother replies, 'The one in the middle.' The young man is astounded. 'How in the world did you figure it out?' 'Easy,' she says. 'I don't like her.'

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    Aaj ka love birds..

    A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinnerwith her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces toher boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make lovefor the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takesa trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacistit’s his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he’d liketo buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on thefamily pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being hisfirst time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl’s parents house and meets hisgirlfriend at the door. “Oh, I’m so excited for you to meet my parents,come on in!” The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl’sparents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows hishead. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his headdown. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans overand whispers to the boyfriend, “I had no idea you were this religious.” The boy turns, and whispers back, “I had no idea your father was apharmacist.”

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  • A Love Story..

    A Love Story I shall seek and find you. I shall take you to bed and control you. I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you grunt and groan. I will make you beg for mercy. I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I leave you. And you will be weak for days. All my love, The Flu

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    A man was sleeping..

    A man was sleeping on his deathbed. The man woke up to see his wife silently praying beside him. He said, "Dear, I have something to confess to you." She said, "No dear, save your energy." He said, "I must tell you so I may pass on to heaven, I cheated on you." She said, "I know, I poisoned you."

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  • Donkey granted his request

    One day Donkey was created by God and Said to him, You are a Donkey now, you will be carried havey load on your back from Sun up to Sun down, than you can get good food and eat a lot of best grass than You will be lived 25 years.Than you will be donkey.          Donkey replaid like this...Ooooooo God...! 25 years too long...Please give me 15 years only, because I was being carring heay load a lot so I couldn't be carried till 25years God Complained....After God thinks for some time.....!! aaaaaaa finally God granted his request.

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    Blind Man and His Dog

    A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog peed on his leg. He reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog. A passer by who’d seen everything remarked: “That’s very tolerant of you after what he just did.” “Not really,” came the reply. “I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him.”

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  • yeh soch kar ruka hua hoo

    Pehla gadha: Yaar mein jis dhobi ke ghar kaam karta hoo, vo mujhe bahut marta hai. Doosra gadha: Tu ghar chor kar bhaag kyo nahi jata. Pehla gadha: Kya batau yaar dhobi ki ek bahut koobsurat ladki hai, vo jab bhi shararat karti hai to dhobi kehta hai ki, teri shaadi kisi gadhe se kar dunga. Bas yeh soch kar ruka hua hoo.

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    William's wife getting forgetful

    Being the concerned wife, she convinced him to see a doctor. William was a little worried when the doctor came in. Sensing his patient's nervousness, the first thing the doctor did was to ask what was troubling him. "Well," William answered. "I seem to be getting forgetful. I'm never sure I can remember where I put the car, or whether I answered a letter, or where I'm going, or what it is I'm going to do once I get there, if I get there. So, I really need your help. What can I do?" The doctor thought for a moment, then answered in his kindest tone, "Please pay me in advance."

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  • The Woes of Aging

    The day after visiting a fair, my wife was in agony. "You know you’re past your prime," she said, "when you hurt all over and all you rode was the massage chair."

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    Memoriam

    Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket, Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside.“Yes,” says Sally, “a lock of my husband’s hair.”“But Larry’s still alive.”“I know, but his hair is gone.”

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